Faltering

Whew! I’m 15 days into #NaBloPoMo and I’m starting to falter. Honestly I’m amazed I’ve actually made it this far. I should accept that as a win and keep plugging along.

Now I’m starting to wonder what do I write about next? Going from maybe once a month posting to every day posting is actually quite stressful. But I am determined to make it through something because I have a history of not finishing things. So this blogging every day in November will mean something when I’m done. If I can write a blog post every day it means I can finish and accomplish something. Maybe then I’ll be able to finish a whole lot of other things that I’ve been putting off.

For example, in April I signed up for a year long photography course through Facebook. Free and not really all that demanding. There’s one lesson sent out each Thursday and you have all week to work through it. I’ve completed…one. Yep, just one lesson. I really want to learn my camera and how to use it better but somehow I simply can not muster up the motivation to work on the assignments. I keep telling myself “this weekend, this weekend I’ll start working on catching up”. Then the weekend is gone and I’ve not done a thing.

Then there is finishing my Bachelors degree. I have been talking about signing up for classes to get a Business Management degree for years. I’ve been looking at a really affordable on-line school that I think would work great, but still have not been motivated enough to do it. I work a job that will never go anywhere or take me anywhere. I get teeny-tiny raises each year at least but it definitely doesn’t keep up with the cost of living. Living paycheck to paycheck sucks and I want to do better. One would think that would be enough motivation to get me moving. Nope. In this case it’s fear…fear that I just won’t be able to keep up. Fear that I’m too old to learn this stuff and will do poorly. I also ask myself if I really want to be in charge and take on all the responsibility that goes with it. I don’t mind being a worker bee most of the time. I’d just like to be paid a bit more for my knowledge and experience and that’s why I consider getting my degree.

I also have been wanting to lose at least 50 pounds for YEARS! I might start one week great but then let everything slide. I have equipment in my downstairs family room that I haven’t touched in over a year probably. My grandson plays around on it more than I do. I gripe every time I pull something out of my closet and it doesn’t fit so wouldn’t you think that was motivation enough to get moving and doing something? Guess not because here I sit at least 60 pounds overweight.

How about finishing moving into my house? I bought and moved into my house almost two years ago and I still haven’t hung any pictures or made anywhere other than the living room look like we actually live there.

Maybe I shouldn’t mention all of my crochet works in progress and unfinished projects. I have stuff that’s been sitting around for over 20 years waiting for ends to be sewn in, squares sewn together to make a blanket and limbs sewn on to dinosaurs. I crocheted my son a dinosaur when he was about 3 or 4..he’s 29 now. He has one leg and no eyes. I never finished it and it’s been hauled around from one house to another for years. We call him One Foot instead of the Little Foot he was supposed to be.

So maybe, just maybe, if I can make it through November I can make it through these other things.